is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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