No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
