Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
