Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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