what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
