You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
