if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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