he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
