i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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