I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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