ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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