hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He kissed a someone with a penis
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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