oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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