Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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