Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
