We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
