I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
