can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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