Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
