Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
