Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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