My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
