You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
