Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
