i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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