I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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