Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
