Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
