Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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