Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
