you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
being pregnant is like rehab
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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