Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
