Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
