is your mom at the bar?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
