I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
