miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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