My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
