party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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