Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
