So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
