So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Randomize
