My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
