he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
