i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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