Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
