Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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