I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
