i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
