Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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