I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
