3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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