So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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